Body Revolution Day 1

OK So with the plan there comes a 7 day 'kick start' that I have decided to do. During this week you do the required workout in the morning and add the cardio 1 DVD in the evening. Today is Day 1. I just finished the Phase 1 Workout 1 DVD. Being 30 minutes it constantly keeps you moving. You I say that this is hard? Surprisingly not as much. The only problems that I had with this video were the bicycle crunches and the planks. It kills my back. Jillian talks about modifying any way that you have to, just ‘don’t stop moving’. So while I couldn’t do the bicycle crunches the way that they do and I had to drop to my forearms for planks, everything else was fine. Do I feel like a failure? Nah. I just look forward to being able to do the planks and the bicycle crunches. Now off to the grocery store. I have decided to follow the kick start diet that she provides to a t. I want to make sure to get the most from the next 90 days. Tomorrow this workout will be easier...... and the next day..... and the next day.

Rebuilding my plan for OA will be interesting. I have had a plan of eating that completely disagrees with the plan that Jillian has included in the body revolution packet. While I don’t know which plan is better I want to experience body revolution like I am supposed too; at least in the beginning. SO I will make a plan of eating for the next 7 days. After those 7 days I will reevaluate and come up with a plan that works for the Body Revolution plan, the OA plan and for me. At least none of my trigger foods are on the Body Revolution plan. LOL. Well to the grocery store I go. Look forward to cardio this evening. I’ll let you know how that one goes.

How did I get here?

Hi, My name is Katie and I am a compulsive over eater.

:::Hi Katie:::

I never had the best relationship with food. I can remember eating snickers and coke for breakfast everyday before school and eating dinner sometime after work if I was hungry. If I wasn't hungry I didn't eat.

We never sat at the table as a family to eat unless it was Sunday, and the older I got the less we did this on Sundays'. I ate alone most of the time or with my friends. If I was home when my parents ate then of course I ate with them, but this was usually on the couch in front of the television.

Even though my eating habits needed work I don't think I had a problem with emotional eating then. I think my problems began when Alyssa was diagnosed with seizures.

Alyssa is my oldest daughter and when she was 9 months old she started having over 100 seizures a day, everyday. This crushed my world. I had just married the man of my dreams, moved half way across the US from my family, and sent my husband off to his first tour of Iraq.

On top of all of this I was pregnant with our son. My world shattered. I had so much on my plate that the only thing that got me through was food. I ate  to take away the loneliness that I was feeling since my husband was in Iraq and my family was far away. I ate because I was pregnant. I ate because I had watched Alyssa have seizure after seizure and felt completely helpless. I ate because.

Within the next 9 months I gained 96 pounds. Everyone said it was 'the baby' but it wasn't. It was the beginning to my battle. That was almost 8 years ago. The road has been long and hard since then and the weight has continued to climb. I have continued to eat when I was faced with uncomfortable situations.

Alyssa had seizures for over 4 years, my husband was deployed 3 times in 4 years and my best friend was killed in a car accident. So needless to say I had a LOT to eat about and I did it well. I ate so that I was OK. I ate to be 'normal'.

I am glad to be on the road to recovery. I am so glad to be getting better. I am finding that I have completely changed the way that I feel and think about food. I am learning what 'normal' really looks like and I am learning what my 'normal' will take to achieve.


Katie

First meeting fears.....

Hi, My name is Katie and I am a compulsive over eater.

:::Hi Katie:::

I remember the first time I walked into an Over-eaters Anonymous meeting. I was completely overwhelmed.

I didn't need to be there; even though the doctor recommend that I tried it. I was not one of those people that ate all the chocolate in the house; I never made myself throw up after eating a ton of crap; I never ate a ton of food. Why was I here? I did not need to be here.

As I sat in silence trying not to make eye contact with anyone, I listened to story after story of struggles that people were having that week. It felt like I was reading my own diary. How had these people known exactly the way my brain worked? How did they know how I was feeling day after day? Had the doctor called them and told them to rehearse this? No. They just understood. They didn't judge. They didn't laugh. They didn't even act like I wasn't 'normal'. They cared. They listened. They undersood. That's when I thought, maybe I did belong there.

Katie

Is this the end of my life?

I remember walking into the doctors office and hoping that they didn't weigh me. I mean I just had my third child, shouldn't that count for something? The answer to this was no. It didn't matter that I had just had a baby, that I had eaten that day already, or that I was wearing all my clothes. The doctor wanted to weigh me. He wanted to see if I had lost any weight since Abby was born 3 months earlier.

I remember not looking at the scale. (The scale and I have not been friends as long as I can remember) I just looked at the cute poster of the babies that they had hanging above it.

When the nurse to me to the room to wait for the doctor I remember sitting on the table and just waiting. The doctor popped his head in and asked me to come to his office. His office? why? This was different?

I remember walking into his office and sitting down in a big brown chair. He went behind his desk and sat down as well. He looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I had a will and testament. I told him that I did. (We decided when one of my best friends died a few years back that it was something that we need to have in case anything happened to either one of us.) He said good, because I was going to need it.

I looked at him like he was crazy. He said that I was killing myself because I was still gaining weight. I had gained 25 pounds since the day that Abby was born. 25 pounds in 3 months??? What?? I was not doing anything I thought that would make this happen. I was not that lazy person on the couch all day... or was I? No I wasn't. I mean I had a baby I was constantly taking care of.

He told me that I was dying and that I would not make it to 35. Excuse me?? I will be 35 in less then 10 years? I never thought I was killing myself. I felt fine. Well maybe not fine, but more on that later.

I remember him telling me that he will help all he can but he did not want to be my doctor anymore if I was just going to kill myself. I left mad.... really mad.

How dare this doctor tell me that he didn't want to be my doctor anymore. How dare he make me emotional and yell at me about how I was not being a good mother because I am killing myself. I am a great mother. How dare he.

I remember coming home and talking to my husband about it. He held me when I cried and told me that he loved me but then he said something I will never forget. He told me that he was worried about me and that he didn't want me to die. This shocked me. Only a few years ago it was me worried that he would never come home from the war, and now he was worried that I was killing myself?

I got mad, and honestly I stayed that way for a long time. I decided to change things. I needed an outlet. If I was killing myself so easily that I would choose to change it just as easily. I decided to not 'go on a diet' like I had many times before, but I decided to change my life and in a weird way 'end the life' that I had made for myself.

I decided to try Overeaters Anonymous and go from there. I didn't know where this would lead but getting up the courage was the hardest part. I decided to go to a meeting, even though I talked myself out of it for months.... this was it.... the end of my life as I had made it. It was time for a new life. It was time for a new me.

Katie